Modern Day Gold Digger

So I was on the phone with my mom last night and during the course of our normal conversation she chastized me for not using my writing talents (let's not forget she's my mother...my writing talents may only be limited to writing legible notes to my kid's teachers and creating overly detailed grocery lists...but she called my writing a talent...and who am I to argue?) and told me I could be making decent money writing. To back up her claim, she said she read somewhere about some woman with six kids (holy crap) who is making gobs of money writing a blog...about her six kids. Now, who knew she (my mom) even knew what a blog was (most of my same-aged friends don't even know (and we might as well quickly get passed my penchant for those three dots (they have a real name, I know, but it escapes me) and parenthesis (both of which cover up my lack of a decent working knowledge of punctuation))). GOBS of money, she said. And I'd be delighted to tell you that I have now started my own blog to chronicle the quirky shenanigans of my three shining stars, but it would be a boldfaced lie. I just want the big payola. I want lipo and a boob job...and at the rate I'm going I'll never be able to afford them. No! Just kidding! I just want a little lipo to make the boobs look bigger.

Now, I read a whole bunch of blogs of a regular basis...and they are all fancy with highly technical graphics and links and shit. But I'm just lucky I figured out how to start ye ol' basic blog here. Whatever. However, judging by the prolific advertising on these blogs, they are, in fact, raking it in. So, any-who...here starts my journey into almost professional, possibly paid writing. Some day I will figuratively frame my first dollar generated from this blog. In the coming days I will be use my blog (oh, I'm killin' myself) to update family and friends in South Africa and other corners of the world with riveting tales of our Disney World vacation and other exciting family news. I will fill in the blanks in the story of how I came to be (for my new readers...who will multiply by the thousands and who's loyalty will make me independently wealthy). I will also do my best to make my blog fancy and appealing. But, in the meantime I really must go and dust all the dead animals in Captain Sparrow's bedroom...Dad and his cancer-free lungs arrive in almost exactly 48 hours and collectively we are beside ourselves with anticipation. We are ready to love him up and fatten him up!