Pathetic On So Many Levels

Get it? So many levels? Levels?

Whatever.

That's what I see about 10 times a day. He whines to come upstairs with me while I work. If I run downstairs to grab something, he appears at the top of the stairs, his head a weird, obtuse triangle with the flat of his ears and sharp point of his snout, whining to come back down.

I think I see the perfect spot in the new backyard to bury him.

Alive and...Well?

"Um, if you could spare a minute, I'll take my afternoon tea in my sunbeam."



"Err...sorry. I forgot. No eye contact."

Home Sweet Home

So, where to begin?

Despite being a whiner and telling everyone who'd listen that moving sucks the big one, it went remarkably well. The movers arrived promptly (even a few minutes early)on Thursday morning and didn't stop for seven hours. They fit our little house of horrors onto the 28 foot truck like a well crafted, unbelievably complicated jigsaw puzzle. Amongst other crazy things, they managed to tuck our obnoxious stainless steel grill (a big mutha) off the ground (as in, not one of it's four wheels touched the floor of the truck), snuggly with the rest of our worldly possessions.

Everything that came out of the old house was neatly and efficiently put into the new house in the same condition. They even made suggestions about furniture placement and paint colors. All for about $500.

It was just amazing to watch.

Which, by the way, speaks to the depth of Steve's and my stupidity. We were plumb tuckered out just watching them sweat and shudder under the weight of some of our furniture. For real. And...it wasn't until about 2 weeks before the closing that we decided to seek out some moving estimates. 'Cuz we actually thought we could move ourselves. Me and him. Him and I. In a 20 foot U-Haul.

Let me clue you in on a little secret. Not only would it have taken 2 weeks for us to empty the old house, it would have cost us a bundle in divorce attorney fees to settle the division of our busted up crap that didn't get completely trashed in the process.

So, anyway, where was I? The move and the closing went off without a hitch and we've made significant inroads into making the new place feel like home. Steve has painted the laundry room and the family room (the previous owners had a very liberal color palette) and we even have a few pictures on the walls.

The kids have their own rooms now, complete with new beds and new comforters (which they picked out themselves). I had worked myself up in anticipation of separation anxieties and bedtime battles, but lo and behold, they have been champs! They love their rooms, love the decor they've each chosen and have settled down beautifully. Thank God.

There you have it. It's done and we're in. And we love it. I mean really love it. We didn't realize how cramped we were at the old house (happy, but cramped)and are really enjoying being able to stretch out a bit. The yard is beautifully landscaped here, and we're looking forward to seeing what the spring brings (lots of bulbs, we're told). Other than paint, there is little for us to do, but enjoy the house. We've already had some neighbors stop by, and it looks like there will be a little slice of something for all three kids on the street with a nice mix of older and younger boys and girls.

So while I don't plan on doing this EVER again, I'm not sorry we did. At times the stress was almost too much to bear (I'm such a sissy), and the effort took a toll on my sanity and security, but it was all worth it. I am so looking forward to creating new memories in this house and gradually turning it into our home.

Well, pictures are forthcoming, especially as rooms get closer to being complete, but in the meantime, here are my funny little people enjoying a housewarming edible bouquet from Brighid and Keith. It was absolutely dee-lish...and between the five of us we annihilated it in less than 10 minutes. Muchas gracias!!

Thanks to everyone else who sent new house mojo. We felt your support and appreciate the warm thoughts!

Why Moving Day Can't Come Soon Enough

Welcome to our cardboard jungle! This is the view from the kitchen to the deck. Somewhere in that pile of boxes is a path to the microwave and the few remaining toys that aren't packed.









This Maggie and Libby bedroom. They haven't slept here in over 4 weeks.












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The front half of our living room, where we haven't been able to do much living.












The view into our bedroom. Note the makeshift beds on the floor for the kids since everything in their bedrooms is either disassembled or boxed up.









Looking from the family room into the lower half of the kitchen. Note the denim couch in the foreground, which Steve and I shoved up the basement stairs a little less delicately that we shoved it down. Can you say "touch up paint"?

That's What I'm Talkin' About!

It's all official! We have a confirmed closing date, with attorneys and everything! This may actually happen!

Next Friday morning we will hand over the keys of my little chalet to the new owners. At 1:00pm we'll get the keys to the slightly larger chalet from it's current owners.

Can you say hallelujah?!

I have nothing to complain about as all seems like it's happening quite efficiently. We're even getting prepossession to move our things in on Thursday. But...I'll be SO glad when this is over and we feel the welcome of the new, unpacked and decorated house.

Alright, back to my artificially sweet voice and the phone whore business.

A Blazing Cake

Eight-nine candles would have been burning on her cake. And she'd have blown every single one of them out.



Happy Birthday, Gramma!

Flat Jack Update

The last thing Jack's class does on Friday afternoons is update their Flat Stanley project. Postcards are read, maps are studied and pushpins are placed. And because Flat Jack went halfway around the world, he had to wait a bit longer for his postcards (some Flat Folk went to other parts of New York fer-cryin'-out-loud). He started to get discouraged ("Mommy, Caroline got her FOURTH postcard from Ohio this week!").

Last Friday he burst off the bus and couldn't get the words out fast enough.

"Mommy, I got TEN postcards!!"

"TEN POSTCARDS!"

"And every single one of them had writing ALL over them!"

"And Mrs. ThirdGradeTeacher read EVERY SINGLE WORD!"

So, from the bottom of my heart, Emily and Winky, thank you for sending word of Flat Jack's travels. Thank you for taking the time to fill out each of those postcards with such love and care. Jack was over the moon and so proud to put himself on the map.

Thank you, thank you!

And to the rest of you South African and New Zealand folk, watch out for Flat Jack. Although he was only allowed to choose one address to start his journey, you may still see him on his voyage. If anyone would like to circumvent the "rules" and send a postcard from your area, just send me an email and I'll give you Jack's school address. He would love to add a few more push pins before the end of the year!

My LIfe In Bullets

* 13 days until we move and I can't turn my head in any direction without cardboard boxes obscuring my view. Which, it turns out, is the antidote for feeling sad about abandoning my little house (I can't wait to get the fuck out so I don't have to look at cardboard boxes for a verrrry long time).

*An amazing woman from Canada took it upon herself to buy me not one, but FOUR bags of ketchup potato chips. AND...a small assortment of candies we can't find on this side of the border (can you say "sssmarties"?). She has refused my offer of money, so I've made it my mission to pay it forward to someone else who needs a pick-me-up. Any suggestions are welcome!

*At the same time as Brighid called to gloat about watching Gladiator, I was trying to wash my red-stained, ketchup potato fingers. My superiority complex was short lived, however, as she left me a message tonight that she's have boerewors made by some Dallas butcher. Whatever.

*7 weeks until I host my parents again. For two whole weeks. We will see if we can do any more damage to the Simply Crepes menu. I can't wait to love 'em up!

*I just got back from the East Rochester High School production of Grease...my nephew was Kenickie. It was awesome! He dedicated himself so fully to the role and impressed the hell out me. It was money and time well spent and I appreciate so much the effort those kids (especially my nephew) put into an outstanding show!! Plus, the kid who played Doody will almost certainly make it to Broadway...and it was a real treat to watch him sparkle!

*What I lack in quantity at work I am more than making up for in quality. I suck moose balls at setting meetings, but with appointments at both Nike and MTV in March, I have ensured that I won't be fired...yet.

*Two of my favorite lesbians on the planet shared a meal of shrimp scampi with us on Friday...and reminded me why I count them as two of the greatest blessings in my life. I love you both!

*I have officially given notice to my daycare parents. I'm done. I will watch my last two kids until the end of the summer...and then I'll be a retired daycare provider. Turns out the retirement fund sucks, but I hope to follow my dreams when the door finally hits them in the ass.

*I'm officially chubby. I can't stand the sight of myself, but I've decided to be kind to the moon face that stares back at me every morning...until we close on the new house. Then all bets are off and I'll be pushing hard to beat the flab. Will report my progress (but only if it's good).

*It's almost 12:30am, March 2nd. Time to go to bed.