Friday, January 25, 2008

10 Things That Bring Me Joy

I noticed on some of my favorite blogs that people get "tagged"...or something like that...and post a list of, ummm, stuff. Now, I didn't get "tagged" (loser) but I decided to share with my readership my top ten greatest joys. And, just to keep things interesting, I skipped the obvious. There will be no mention of sleeping children, puppies or spring flowers. These are my real joys.

1. Q-Tips after a shower. I'm like a dog when you scritch it's special spot (behind it's ears, sickos). I shut my eyes and slowly twirl the Q-Tip...around and around and around...drying out my big ears. Oooh, it feels so good.

2. Plucking a rogue hair from my chin. I have an old lady, coarse hair that grows under my chin. I think if I left it alone it might reach my collar bone and get stuck in my necklace. But...I don' every couple of weeks I have to go after it. And I can't see it, even with a flashlight and a magnifying mirror, so it's a bit like searching for a nickel in the grass at midnight. Man, when I finally feel the tension of the tweezers against the hair root and I know that success is just a matter of constant, gentle control, it feels uh-mazing.

Yes, I am considering therapy.

3. The Mail. I can't wait! Our mail carrier's truck/jeep has a very distinctive sound and I know he's coming when he's still on a neighboring street. I'm like one of Pavlov's dogs...waiting in the window until he passes my driveway (I don't want rush right out and look desperate, for God's sake!). You should see me at Christmas. I can't wait to count my Christmas cards. And yes, people, I do take mental notes about who can't be bothered to send me a card.

4. Salad, especially when other people make it. A good salad makes me really happy.

5. Finding money. I once found $50 at Wegmans. I was in the express lane checking out and saw a nice crisp President Grant staring up at me from the floor (settle down...I had to google the reference). However, since I have a conscience, and couldn't tolerate the thought of a little old man eating cat food because he dropped his money, I turned it in to the service desk. But before I left, I asked about the possibility of the money going unclaimed and was told that if no one inquired about it after two weeks, that I could keep it. And damn if I didn't call every other day for two weeks to see if it was gone. They knew my name by the end of those two looooong weeks. Sure enough, no one had any faith in mankind and bothered to call Wegmans. So, thank you, suckah!

6. The Food Network. When I finally win the lottery, I'm going to have the fanciest, biggest kitchen in America. I'm going to have so many gadgets and appliances that I'll need to warehouse them in an attached garage. And I'm going to have a pantry that would make Bobby Flay drool. I will fry my eggs in truffle oil and serve kobe beef hamburgers on the 4th of July. And I'll have a maid to clean up the kitchen when I'm done with my uber tasty culinary creations. Yes. I will.

7. An empty house. Although I can't remember the last time I was all alone in my house, it is something that I know would bring me a lot (you have no idea) of joy.

8. 9pm. God, how I love 9pm. By that time my offspring either need to be in bed or sleeping at someone else's house. I punch the clock at 9pm, pour a glass of wine, call my parents, then let my eyes glaze over on the Food Network...or HGTV...whatever.

Tick, tock...9:oopm.

9. Finding the clothes dryer empty. I just love it when you think you have a load of laundry to fold before you can put the next load of wet clothes in, and you open the dryer and it's empty. Yipppeee!

10. Comments on my blog. 'Nuff said.

Okay, your turn. What brings you joy?


Tami said...

OMG! That was great! And I TOTALLY agree with you about the Q-tips. Also, for me, it's washing my face in the shower each morning with my wash cloth. Almost too good for words!

I love you!
Fellow freak-

Bird said...

1. Q-Tips. We are all freaks. I stood for like five minutes this morning twirling it around like a little ballerina. Side ex-boss used to stand at my desk, pick up one of my paper clips and then dig the ear wax out of his ear while chatting with me. Barbarian.

2. 5pm. Wine time. I watch the clock... 4:57...4:58.....

3. A good poo. Don't you people dare "ewe" me either, you know it's true!!!

4. Stupid movies about invading insects or bats that are four times the size they're supposed to be.

5. Reading a good book five times over.

6. Going to the doctor (as I did this morning) and finding out you're 5 lbs lighter than you were this time last year...and having the balls to high five your OB/GYN who thinks you still have another 20 to go.

7. Reading Perez Hilton. He's like crack to me. I didn't get to read his blog for 10 days and I thought I was melting.

8. Counting down to a vacation. Actually taking your calendar off the wall and write down a count down that's like 8 months away. I'm like a 4 yr old going to Disney Land-World. Except I don't call them sleeps.

9. Taking my bra off at night.
Then having a good scratch :-)

Martine said...

I love it!! You read #10!!

We recently ran out of Q-tips and I had to rummage through all of my old cosmetic bags looking for one. I finally dug one up from a bag I think I used when I went into the hospital to have Jack. Anyway, it looked kinda raggedy, but desperate times call for desperate measures! So I commence with the ear swabbing, when SNAP...the damn thing broke off in my ear!! I freaked (really freaked)...and had to use my tweezers in a search and rescue mission to save my hearing. It was frightening.

So, the lesson? If your Q-tips are older than your children, throw them away!

Pieter said...

1. Easing into my bed at the end of the day ... slowly settling back into my memory foam pillows (yes, more than one)and feeling the day's crap oozing out of the soles of my feet.

2. Watching my client experiencing that crucial "AHA!" moment after a flawless intervention.

3. If you have a box of Merlot ... move over on the sofa.

4. The missus coming home after a day in the salt mines. Nothing like comparing notes on the latest symptoms of serious mental disease in the corporate cesspool.

5. The first three continuous swigs of Guiness. When you can breathe again even the in rush of air tastes bitter. Somehow I then have an urge to read half a page from any Mave Binchey book.

6. Gassing with my offspring on the phone ... figurtatively... oh, what the hell ... and literally. It is a family gift.

7. Those realtively rare phone discussions with Brian in Toronto, Kems in New Zealand and, Els in Holland.

8. A braai with my in-law brothers and sisters. I savour (savor?) it most when I've found their stash of GOOD booze.

9. A nap with a dog next to me.

10. The end of a flight on American Airlines. Their motto ... "we'll get you there but we don't care if you enjoy it."

Now about that Guiness ...

... my compass points ...