Saturday, May 31, 2008

Before and After

Brighid had her surgery on Thursday to correct her severely deviated septum (I've always known she was devious). Her plastic surgeon said it was one of the worst he's operated on. While he was tap, tap, tapping with his little nose hammer, he gave her a nose job...a free nose job! No more mogul on a ski hill! Brighid's nurse called it an $3000 early Christmas present. So, in addition to being able to breath normally, she'll have a perfect profile. When the bandages are removed and the swelling has receded, I'll post the before, during and after pictures. In the meantime, she apparently looks like she fell down an elevator shaft...on her face. And can't sleep because she has stuff jammed up her new nose. So send her some healing vibes when you can.


I bought a new bathing suit. A two piece bathing suit. Settle self respecting bimbo would be caught dead in it...the bottoms still have a skirt. Anyway, I've always had two pieces, but this one doesn't cover up the area in which I housed three babies, two at the same time. And I look horrendous. Really. BUT...I'm also seriously trying to lose those last few pounds and have a plan. I didn't take the tags off, or that little piece of crotch tape that's supposed to protect me from lady cooties. Once I've lost 5 lbs, I'll try it on again. If it looks better, I'll keep it until I've lost the last 5 lbs. Then, and only then, will I wear it out of my bedroom. I may (MAY) post before and after pictures, too. But only if you can actually tell the difference between the two.


I am actually starting to like my job. No, love my job. I'll spare you the boring details, but something has clicked and it's challenging and fun (and some days still frustrating). I'm starting to make a little money and some of my efforts have been positively recognized by my boss (BossMan in California). Feels pretty great and I feel pretty lucky to be working from home. So, no before and after pictures, but I couldn't be happier with the turn around I've experienced as a phone whore.

Anyone else want to share their before and after?


Denise said...

First off, will this mean Brighid will no longer look like Jane Curtain??? I'm not sure I can adjust to this. Second off, what is it like to need to lose 10 lbs after having 3 children? I housed one child and have the aftermath destruction of housing 10. The ability to wear a two piece with a skirt is a goal. I'll be happy not to wear a full body scuba suit one day. Next I am ecstatic to hear you are beginning to love your job! You have an AWESOME gig going on and now that you love it, i'm sure it will get easier and you'll be even more successful. PS.. my recruiter loved your neighbor, we'll be in touch soon. Oh and after the foliculitis incident, I think i'll pass on the soak in the hot tub and just stick with coming over to drink wine. Now I know where to send my enemies though for a good soak.

Bird said...

Nisie!! I'll always be Jane Curtain to you!! But with a hot sexy better nose. SPeaking of nose, time to go back to bed as I'm starting to drip on the keyboard.

Martine said...

Jane Curtain? Did you guys play "Kate and Ally" when you were roomies? I never knew...

Also, Denise...I've been losing the SAME 8lbs for almost 6 years now. So settle down. It is only because we're vacationing with another family in July and I CANNOT sit next on the beach next to some skinny bitch, tucking my jelly roll into my old lady skirt bottoms...for an entire week. And, my neighbor will be would be a great gig for her! Thanks for your input with your recruiter!

Justin said...

Having seen the post surgery pics of Bird and new nose, I came up with a plan. Have Keith take her to the mall. Bird wears her best wife beater outfit. At the mall, Bird walks a couple of feet behind Keith, with her head hung low. At every stop they make, Bird refers to Keith as "sir" and randomly cowers in terror and whimpers "please don't hit me any more". Would be fascinated to see how long it takes for mall security to find Keith and tazer him. I ran this past Bird and she was up for it, but Keith whimped out for some reason. Must admit, no matter how the surgery turns out, anything is better than that train wreck of a nose she used to have. With the nose fixed, now we can focus our attention on her other physical and character flaws.

The Butterfly said...

I am getting to see the new nose tomorrow. I know she will be even more beautiful than I already knew she was.I am amazed that "stars" put themselves through that willingly.I would rather go through life with an elephant trunk.

Bird said...

I will say I have a new sense of respect and a tiny bit of fear of those who subject themselves to this over and over again!

Mudder - I am beautiful because I look like you!

Justin - F/O