So, we're almost a third of the way into May and this is my first post. I have a whole host of excuses, but none are believable, and all are embellished.
But...having my favorite house guests, and finally achieving a minor break through in my shitty job is very time consuming. I had the best time with Mom and Dad, and kicked a little telemarketing ass while I was at it!
Mom and Dad left last Sunday (the 4th) after two weeks with us. It was so easy and so relaxing having them here. They gushed about the new house, met the new neighbors approvingly and made themselves invaluable with their efforts in the daily routine.
They both look fantastic. Better than fantastic.
Dad is looking healthy. A little thin for my liking, but his general appearance disguises very well the hell he's been through. May 25th will the first anniversary of his diagnosis, a day I can so easily speak of as if it happened to someone else's family. It still seems surreal. But, he's sneaking up on 5 months since his last chemo treatment, has had two clean pet scans and has the perspective of someone who has faced and beaten the odds. We had the opportunity to have a kid-free, one-on-one lunch together, and truly, I was in awe of the calm and purpose with which he views his life. I would not want to repeat the last year...for him, for my mom, or for our family...but what a gift it has been to have been offered a window into this experience. We are are so richly blessed, so unbelievably luck...and he has weathered it well.
Not to worry...the philosophical and spiritual meaning of repeating last April's trip was not awash in morbid memories.
It was pickled.
Dad insisted on keeping the wine well stocked, and if I thought of being embarrassed I might hesitate to tell you that I think we destroyed FIVE boxes of Merlot while they were here (go ahead, do the math. Five boxes of wine equals TWENTY FIVE bottles of wine...in 12 days).
Thank you, Dad.
No.
My liver and waistline thank you.
It should go without saying that Mom also looked amazing. She is fit, svelte and full of energy. I lost count of how many loads of laundry she folded, how many dishes she washed or how many games of Candyland she let Libby win. She got to things before I had a chance to think of them, and without knowing it, gave me a much needed break in the routine. She is perfectly suited to be my roommate. We think alike, we appreciate the orderliness of a well kept house and we love a strict bedtime.
Goodnight, kids!
We managed a couple of trips to some local country craft places and did some retail damage. When mom left her luggage must have weighed twice as much as when she arrived. It was loaded to the gills with candles! Nice, big, stink-pretty candles. We will definitely have to tame the trinket shopping when they move back. I'll be cold stone broke!
Most evenings I forced them to watch shows they don't typically watch, but I think by the time they left they were almost fans of both American Idol and Top Chef. The aforementioned wine kept them compliant and kept the moaning to a minimum.
So, we're back to normal, I'm working my butt off and all is well. Hopefully I'll be back in the groove of posting in the coming days. No promises, though.
Oh, and on a side note, one of my new neighbors found something in my kitchen that I didn't know I had.
An empty cabinet.
Who does that?! Who moves, washes out cabinets, unpacks and doesn't realize for TWO WHOLE MONTHS that a cabinet remains empty? For the love of Pete. I swear I didn't even know it was there.
Also, while I'm admitting to being a moron, just moments ago I glanced up and noticed we have crown molding in the office. And it's super.
I really need pay better attention.
Also, I caught an unexpected glance of myself from behind...and I saw the back fat.
Back fat, people.
I'm having my jaw wired shut on Monday.
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7 comments:
You must've gotten M&D drunk to get them to watch American Idol..
AND LIKE IT!
Back fat (bra overhang) is my arch nemesis...
Thanks for keeping mom and dad out of my hair for 2 weeks. I mean, glad you guys had such a good time. Ooops. The kids look great! We are in the process of moving this week. Should have done the 5 gallons of gas and insurance claim thing! What a pain in the bottom of the back fat. Tami and I have taken to ordering our wine by the pallet load lately. Drinking problem, we don't have no stinking drinking problem! Gotta go, wine glass is empty. As far as my work knows, I am drinking grape juice.
I will not own up to all that wine! We had the best time and loved the whole two weeks so much we will be back for more as soon as
we can.Back fat--what back fat? American idol--what's that? Too much red stuff I fear.
Bet your back fat has no chance compared to mine!
Your M&D must have been legless to watch Idols - are you sure it was only 25 bottles? In SA our bottles come six to a box - how do you Americans fit 5 to a box? Or is it box wine? Do you think the garbage men were impressed?
Yes, Mom. Back fat. Muffin top. Chub. It's all the same, and it's all sitting around my middle. Thanks in part to the wine you and Dad made me drink. Thanks a lot. And don't try foolin' anyone. You were cheering for little David boy. "Encore, little pork chop, encore!"
Winks, BOXED wine. Bottled wine is for snobs.
My dear sister. Drinking wine from a box is like eating filet mignon off of a paper plate, or caviar on white bread. It's just not on! Our wine bottles come with screw tops, so we still fall well short of pomposity here. So much stress over the back fat thing! So sad. I think you look wonderful plump!
Love,
Your brother, the snob.
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