The Looooong Weekend

What a great weekend! It started last Wednesday, when my old neighbor offered to share her "Fancy Nails" gift certificate with me. And, knowing that I would probably regret getting fake nails again, that's exactly what I did. Now I am sporting some really fancy nails...and have had to retype almost every word so far because my fancy nails are all clickety-clacking the wrong damn keys.

Sigh. The price I must pay for beauty.

Anyway, Levy was our nail technician and hails from Vietnam, where I'm sure he was probably a micro biologist or some such shit, but now he gives morons like me fancy nails. My neighbor went first and she made all the usual small talk with Levy...married, kids, blah, blah, blah. All of a sudden Levy got up to go into the back room and she whips her head around and says, "He keeps looking at my boobs!". I lean over and see that her tank top is swooping a little low and since she's midway through her fancy nails and can't take care of business, I adjust the neckline for her. A minute later, Levy emerged from the back room with two giant glasses of wine! For us! Before she could say another word, I readjusted my neighbor's top back down for Levy's cheap thrills...and to ensure us a second glass.

'Cuz that's how I roll.

Oh, before I forget. I noted on the price list at Fancy Nails that I can get a full back waxing for only $40! Imagine that?! I could also get a full bikini wax for $35, but it's going to take a lot more than a glass of cheap chablis for me to show Levy my vajayjay.

Thursday night (the 3rd) found us at our new neighbor's cottage on Conesus Lake (the lesson so far is to always be nice to your neighbors) for the Ring of Fire, which was just magical and spectacular. Conesus is one of the Finger Lakes and is small enough (8 miles long, but skinny) that you can see the other side, but big enough to spend the day floating in your giant cigarette boat if you so desired(or canoe if you're poor like me). As is the 3rd of July tradition, as soon as the sun set, the fireworks started. Not the cheapy ones we buy in Pennsylvania to keep Jack happy, but BIG ones...loud and bursting with color. Coming over the lake from all angles. A short while later, we started to see flares being light at precise intervals along the front of each property...and all of sudden...it's there. The ring of fire. This picture from Wikipedia doesn't do it justice because only a few flares are lit and they're out of focus, but it's enough to get an idea of how awe inspiring it is to sit on the dock and have this light display just emerge from the darkness. Very, very cool!

We spent the 4th just loafing around the house, reading on the deck while the kids floated in the hot tub (God, we need a pool!). Steve was (is) building his man cave in the basement, so by the time we left to have dinner with his grandmother that night, he was already beat. After dinner, the kids and I braved the crowds and went to see the "real" fireworks. And I may, or may not, have set a bad example for those sweet little cherubs and lied to some pimply faced teenager about my participation in the fire department to secure a PERFECT parking spot in a prime location..but...it saved me at least 20 minutes of walking, which translates into 40 minutes of whining, so it's all good. The fireworks were spectacular and no one whined a bit...least of all, me.

Saturday was the perfect day to spend at the beach, so we loaded the crew up again and headed to Fairhaven. Interestingly enough, every time we go there we see girls (and women) wearing those modesty bathing suits. See how happy they look? Not like me, sitting there in my pricey Nike bikini, sucking in my gut and praying that I don't look like a chubby two bit whore. I was wearing swim shorts over the skimpy bottoms, mind you...I do have standards (as does Steve...I think he quite admires those modesty suits). Anyway, we sunned, swammed, ate and fished until we ran out of money and patience.

Finally (God this is getting long, eh?) this brings me up to date, as yesterday was a day for grocery shopping and vacation shopping (you should see all the piles of crap on my bedroom floor...it's so exciting...and sooooo neurotic). We capped off the holiday long weekend with a couple of cocktails with the neighbors on each side of us last night and stumbled to bed at a fairly decent hour. The perfect end to a great weekend!

Whew!

Up next...medical updates. Brighid is sporting a new nose and Justin is trying to pass a marble sized kidney stone. Who do you think is having more fun?