Noses and Stones

I think Brighid and Keith might be fucking with me. Seriously. I've been (slowly) putting together a post about Brighid's new nose and decided to add the pictures this morning. How did I not notice how ENORMOUS the files were? Each time I opened an emailed picture my computer froze. After 2 or 3 attempts, I saved each picture to my hard drive...and attempted to delete them from my email.

ATTEMPTED!

They would NOT delete, people!!

I think I could easily blame my recent computer problems on Brighid's nose. Or pictures of Brighid's nose. I bet it's the up-the-snout shots she sent. I bet if I made a big enough stink (no pun intended), they'd have to replace my computer. One with a bigger memory. And a giant flat screen monitor.

I'll work on that.

But in the meantime, medical updates on my siblings.

First, the new nose. I was actually sent a before picture featuring Brighid's head tilting back and a full view of the deviated septum, but I thought I'd spare you the visual (and it's one I accidentally deleted before I copied it to My Pictures). Imagine, if you will, Brighid's head tilted back like a pez dispenser, with a pink jelly bean shoved up one nostril, almost completely blocking the air passage. That's what it looked like. Oh, never mind, I did save it. See the jelly bean? Kinda gross, eh? Anyway, as you may or may not remember, she was offered a free nose job to shave down a couple of inherited bumps and bulges while on the gurney prepping for the surgery. As this was not anticipated, she didn't take too many side before shots (thank God...I don't think my Fred Flintstone computer could take it!). Anyway, the surgery went well...no problems and the surgeon was very satisfied with his work.
The week after surgery sounded like a little slice of hell as she had thingies jammed up her nose and had to ritualistically suction or drain or something or another every few hours(and Mom, who says she can't physically breath through her mouth, claims she would have died). This is 2 days post surgery and doesn't she look like she's having fun? No shower, no taste buds, no sleep. Happy, happy, joy, joy!
But it was all worth it! After having the stints removed and an industrial strength vacuum cleaner shoved up there to remove a week's worth of gunk, she is breathing like a regular person now (sans pink jelly bean) and looks beautiful.
Ok, so from Dr. 90210 to Dr. Wee-Wee. Last I spoke with Justin, he had yet to pass his giant kidney stone. The urologist could apparently see it floating about the kidney, probably picking up calcium chicks before it's journey. His immediate pain was over, but can you imagine the anticipation of still having to pass it? Every time you go to the bathroom you wonder "is this the pee that sends me crashing to the floor while a ball of razor blades makes it's way to the porcelain pool?". I think I'd be constantly drunk. Or, at the very least, sedated.

Katy is up here visiting Tami's parents, so Justin and Tami went away this weekend (some romantical weekend shit), so I have not yet heard if he left any shiny little trinkets behind. He apparently also had to tinkle in a gallon jug for a day to see if they could figure out why he gets these things (my guess is the Dos Equis)(and I had to do that once and all I remember is that some preservative stuff in the jug smoked every time I made a liquid deposit...very freaky). Anyway, maybe Justin will send a picture of the stone when it's out. Stay tuned.